John 2:1-11
August 18, 2013
On the third day there was a wedding
in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples
had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of
Jesus said to him, ‘They have no wine.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, what
concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.’ His mother said to
the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’ Now standing there were six stone
water-jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty
gallons. Jesus said to them, ‘Fill the jars with water.’ And they filled them
up to the brim. He said to them, ‘Now draw some out, and take it to the chief
steward.’ So they took it. When the steward tasted the water that had become
wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn
the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom and said to him, ‘Everyone
serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have
become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.’ Jesus did this, the
first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his
disciples believed in him.
Over the course of the summer Connie and I have been
exploring the nature of Christian coincidence, God-incidence, and providence in
people’s lives. We’ve been telling stories both about ourselves and of others,
digging in to learn what these coincidences can teach us about God and life.
This morning I want to share with you a coincidence that
changed the course of my life, not necessarily leading me to a change of
careers or something like that, but to a change of focus. It was a coincidence
that led me to permanently form a passion to Christian spirituality and for
connecting with and experiencing God.
I want to take you back to 1989, when I was an associate
pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Murrysville, Pennsylvania. When I first
became an associate there, my job was not to lead the youth group, but because
prior to my becoming a pastor most of my life had been immersed in work with
children and youth, I was asked to spend at least a year resurrecting heir
youth program, which had lapsed to just 5 teens. I had worked with mentally retarded
children during the summers while in college, had done an internship as a
probation office for the Roanoke, Virginia, City Probation Office, had worked
as a therapist in a psychiatric hospital, and had worked some with inner city
kids while in seminary, it made sense to ask me to help.
One of the things I really wanted to do with the teens
was to expose them to a different way of thinking spiritually. I wanted to
expose them to prayer, a sense of God’s immediate presence, and to a sense that
God works in ways that go beyond rational thinking and typical human thought.
As part of that process, I invited two young women to
come and speak to the youth group about their spiritual experiences. One
woman’s name was Betsy, and I asked her to come because her family had been
heavily involved in leading people from around the country on pilgrimages to
Medjugorje, a small town in what was then Yugoslavia, where 8 young people had
been having apparitions of the Virgin Mary. Many people who had taken these pilgrimages
had had both intense spiritual experiences and healings, and I wanted her to
talk about them with our youth.
I also invited a friend of hers’, Anne, who had had her
own healing experience in Medjugorje. Both Betsy and Anne \ had been classmates
(I think) of my high school girlfriend’s sister, so I had known them through
her. Anne’s story was inspirational, and Betsy was tremendous in adding other
stories of events and experiences that augmented what Anne had to say.
Back in the late 1980s, Anne had contracted what today is
called the Epstein-Barr virus. At the time it was not recognized as a virus. Instead,
it was called “yuppie syndrome” or chronic fatigue syndrome. The virus
originally showed up among young urban professionals in New York City
(yuppies), and because so many people had nothing but scorn for them, the
illness wasn’t taken seriously for a long time. In fact, it was often considered
to be a mental problem. Those suffering from the illness had chronic,
debilitating fatigue somewhat like mononucleosis, except that it would not go
away. Anne suffered from this, and her
doctors told her that it was all in her mind.
For Anne, her illness was so bad that she had trouble
getting the energy to feed herself. She
told me that just bringing a spoon to her mouth took tremendous energy. She was
on the verge of committing suicide. She had no energy, couldn’t work, and
everyone told her it was all a psychological problem. Then her friend, Betsy,
made a suggestion. She was going to visit Medjugorie, and invited Anne to come
along with her. Anne was resistant at first, especially because the thought of
making the pilgrimage would require more energy than she had. In the end she
realized that she had to do something, so she went along. It was there that she
experienced God.
One day, she climbed a small mountain outside of the town
where a priest, who was known for healing prayers, was promising to pray for
anyone who joined him. Anne said climbing that mountain felt like climbing Mt.
Everest. When she got to the top, she received prayers from the priest. Often
pilgrims to Medjugorje report having an interesting experience immediately
prior a healing experience. They smell roses. This is considered to be a gift
from the Virgin Mary, since the rose is a symbol of Mary. Anne smelled roses on
that mountaintop. The day was windy, and any sprayed scent would have wafted
away, but this smell was constant and it filled her nose and body. As the
priest prayed, something like electricity went through Anne, and she felt
tremendously loved by God. She heard a
voice saying something along the lines of “My grace is all you need. I will be
with you no matter what.” She told me
that for three days it was difficult to talk with anyone because this feeling
of God’s love and presence overwhelmed her so.
This experience didn’t lead to an immediate healing, but
it did lead to a sense that God was with her and that God would help her
overcome her illness. In telling all of this, the youth group was mesmerized. They
had many questions for Anne and Betsy.
A few weeks after they spoke to our youth, I received an
invitation to Betsy’s wedding. I didn’t know Betsy well, and normally wouldn’t
have been invited, but I think it was Betsy’s way of thanking me for inviting
them, two Roman Catholics, to a Presbyterian youth group to talk about
experiences of healing with Mary.
Betsy didn’t know that this invitation caused a bit of
strife between Diane, my wife, and me. We were dating then, and the day of
Betsy’s wedding was the same day as Diane’s best friend, Maria’s, wedding.
Diane insisted that since I didn’t know Betsy that well, I should skip her
wedding and only go to Maria’s. I told her that I thought I should really go to
Betsy’s, but I didn’t know why. We agreed I’d go to Betsy’s wedding, and then
come to Maria’s reception.
So, I went to the wedding. At the reception, Betsy’s
Mother, Jan, pulled me aside and said, “I really have to introduce you to
Father Rick Byrne. He’s the priest who celebrated the wedding mass. He’s also
the executive director of the spirituality program at Duquesne. You both have a
lot in common. You should talk.” With
that, she left Rick and me alone. I had heard of the program Rick directed
several years before when I was serving as a summer chaplain intern in a
hospital in Washington, D.C. I had thought then that I wanted to study there,
and possibly get a Ph.D. when I’m in my 40s or 50s. I wanted to wait till after
any kids I had went to college. Rick and I talked a long tie about spirituality.
It was great. Afterwards, we both agreed we should meet again and talk about me
going to Duquesne to get my Ph.D. in spirituality now, rather than later. We
exchanged cards promising to call each other. Neither one of us did.
I kept thinking about the program, but couldn’t figure
out how to find the time to do it. I was a full-time associate pastor with a
life. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. A month later, I was at my health
club, having just finished playing racquetball. As I was changing in the locker
room, peeling off my sweaty shirt, I accidentally elbowed in the chest then man
next to me. I stammered an apology, stepped back and looked at him and realized
that it was Rick. I had never seen him there before, and he said that he didn’t
get there much. Both of us realized this might be the Spirit trying to get us
together for me to go to Duquesne. This time we did make an appointment. As a
result, I ended up going to Duquesne and getting my Ph.D.
Those studies in spirituality changed my whole life and
ministry. From them I figured out a whole different way of being a pastor and
doing church, a way grounded in prayer and seeking God’s will. The program at
Duquesne was one that Duquesne University was most known for worldwide. It attracted
not only Roman Catholics, but Protestants. And the students came not only from
the U.S., but from Australia, Europe, Africa, and Asia. We studied spirituality
not only from a Christian perspective, including the mystics of Christian
history, but from the perspective of other religions, the social sciences,
philosophy, art, literature, and film. It was an amazing place that has not
been duplicated elsewhere in both its depth and comprehensiveness. If Betsy
hadn’t invited me to her wedding, who knows what would have happened (although
I suspect God would have found another way for me to meet Rick or another
person from the program).
What going to that program at Duquesne meant for me was
that it gave me insights on the spiritual life, rather than just the
theological or religious. Our problem in the modern church is that so many
outside of our churches proclaim that they are “spiritual but not religious,”
and our answer is to train our pastors more in theology and religious studies.
People are clamoring for a spiritual experience of God, and we give them
theological speculation and religious beliefs. At Calvin Presbyterian Church,
we try to be both spiritual AND religious, recognizing that being one or the
other is limited. The program also gave me insights on how to sense God, hear
God, and follow God. Finally, it gave me insights on how to create a church
devoted to seeking and following God’s will
From this experience, I’ve learned two major lessons. The
first is that God has a purpose for all of us, and that God uses these
coincidences to invite us to live out that purpose. This needs a bit of
explanation. You’ve heard that God has a plan for everything? I don’t agree. When we make plans, and plans
don’t work out, things fall apart. Humans are way too free to ignore plans for
God for God to have confidence that those plans won’t be dashed. So, if God has
a plan for everything, it means either that God constantly lives with the
disappointment of consistently broken plans, or that everything bad that happens
to us is part of God’s plan, which means that God wills us to suffer, get
addicted, get cancer, lose our jobs, get divorced, and more.
What I believe instead is that God has a purpose for us,
rather than a plan. The difference is that a purpose is a way of living that
can be adapted to any life context or situation. God has a purpose, a way God
created us to live and be, and each event and experience—good or bad—is an
opportunity God presents to us inviting us to live that purpose out. In other words,
God created us with a purpose, which is to live according to God’s unique
desire for us not matter what situation we face in life. And God calls us to
take advantage of opportunities (such as my studying for a Ph.D. in
spirituality) that allow our purposes to blossom together in God’s grace.
The coincidence, the providence, of my meeting Father
Rick said to me that part of my life purpose was to deepen my spiritual life,
and to help others do so, too. Even if I had gone to Maria’s wedding, God would
have presented me another opportunity to live out my purpose. God has a purpose
for you, too, and God uses coincidences in all of our lives to give us
opportunities to live out our purpose.
A second lesson is simpler. God is always ready to offer
us surprises, but we have to be ready to receive them. God stands around every
corner of life, ready to surprise us with grace, love, and possibility. But we
have a penchant for focusing so much on our plans, our goals, our passions, and
our predilections that we often aren’t looking. But God doesn’t get
discouraged. Instead, God keeps holding out these surprises for us, and once we
start accepting them, we discover a life filled with surprise.
The question for us, as we reflect on these coincidences,
is whether we are truly open to living out God’s purposes for us, and whether
we are ready to receive God’s surprises.
Amen.
