1 John 3:11-22
For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We must not be like Cain who was from the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. Do not be astonished, brothers and sisters, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love one another. Whoever does not love abides in death. All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them. We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?
Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him.
I had an experience several years ago that really caused me to stop and think. I don’t quite remember where I was, but I know that I was on vacation somewhere, walking with my daughters who were about 5 or 6 at the time. We were crossing a street after doing the “look-back-and-forth” bit. Suddenly, as we were crossing, a car came barreling toward us, and it was apparent that he didn’t see the stop sign in front of him, nor us. Without a thought, I immediately started walking rapidly toward his car with my arms outstretched as it sped toward me. Suddenly he stopped about three feet from me, waving his hands and mouthing, “Sorry!” If he hadn’t see me, I would have been hit by the car. There was a serious chance I could have been hurt or killed. What got me thinking was that in that moment—for that one moment—I had absolutely no self-concern. My kids were threatened, and something just took over my thinking. My concern was only for protecting them.
Do you know how rare a moment like this is, a moment in which we have absolutely no thoughts of self? In that moment I no longer existed. All that mattered was protecting Erin and Shea. I thought a lot about this moment afterwards because it was a moment of complete loss of self-concern. I guess that’s what happens when you really love someone. You become willing to sacrifice yourself, even if it is only for a moment.
Self-sacrifice isn’t something that comes easy to us Americans. We’ve always had a strange tension in this country between self-sacrifice and selfishness. We talk about sacrificing for our country and all that, but in many ways we are much more selfish than we are self-sacrificing.
The well-known sociologist, Robert Bellah, wrote about how much we struggle with selfishness and self-concern in his groundbreaking book, Habits of the Heart. He noted that there is a strong individualistic streak among Americans, one that goes back in our history to our roots in the Colonial period. He says that Americans tend to see themselves as individuals first, Americans second. Our primary identity is as individuals, even before we see ourselves as part of a family, a community, an ethnicity, or a nation. He says that as a result of our individualism, we tend to praise and idolize the individual over the community.
Do you want to see what he means? Take a look at the most popular television program in the country right now? What is it? American Idol. Think about the point of the show. It is to rise above all the others to become the lone, individual idol, admired and adored by everyone. Look at our movies. So often our films are about the individual rising up against all odds to overcome tragedy, difficulty, or evil. Although we love team sports, we idolize the individual players. This emphasis on the individual in all parts of life makes it very hard for us to also embrace self-sacrifice.
Where does this individualism come from? I think you can trace it right to the colonization of America. David Hackett Fischer, in his book, Albion’s Seed, talks the four primary migrations of colonists into America, and how they shaped American values. The first major migration was the Puritan migration into New England. They were a very community-oriented people. They believed that the individual, in order to serve God, should be willing to sacrifice him- or herself for the community and for God. Meanwhile, the Cavalier migration into the south had a different take on this. The Cavaliers were second and third sons of nobles from Southern England. They were privileged and believed in a hierarchy. They believed in a community, but community revolving around those at the top of the hierarchy comprised of nobles, then merchants, then servants, then slaves. All served the individual at the top. So they believed in community, but community focused on the top (can you see how American Idol almost reflects this belief?)
Meanwhile, there was another migration into Pennsylvania of Quakers, who, like the Puritans, were very community-oriented. They believed in sacrifice of self for God and others. They believed that a strong community created a holy place to live. Finally, there were the Scots-Irish, who settled first in our area of Western Pennsylvania, and then settled down the spine of the Appalachian Mountains. They were the most individualistic of the lot. They originally came from the borderlands between Scotland and England, and were used to being attacked by the Scots and then the English. To survive they became very individualistic, believing only in the value of familial blood. When they migrated to America, they became the most individualistic of group of all, creating weak communities, preferring to live alone or with a small cadre of like-minded people. They did not believe much in self-sacrifice for others. What they did believe in was heading into the woods armed with a Bible and an axe, creating their own life and religion.
I believe that there’s a lesson in American religious colonization regarding self-sacrifice, individualism, and community. The most religious of the colonies, the Puritans and the Quakers, were always the most self-sacrificing. And they were the most prosperous. They understood that real Christianity is both communal and sacrificial, and it translated into the economic success of their communities. In contrast, the least successful areas of the country were those settled by the Scots-Irish, and even today they are the most impoverished areas of our country.
Basically, the American experience underscores our passage, which says that there is no greater love that binds people together than a love in which we are willing to lay down our lives for others. The willingness to put aside “my” concerns for “our” concerns makes all the difference in the world. Jesus taught this idea. Think about Jesus’ teachings and life. He taught that we should deny ourselves, pick up our crosses and follow him. He taught that we should share what we have with others. He taught that we should give to others sacrificially. And he lived it. He gave up his life on the cross for others.
You can also learn the lesson of self-sacrifice outside Christianity. You can find it in music. Think about the best music you know. It requires that the artist put aside her or his desire to be the star in order to work in harmony with others. Malcom Gladwell, in his book, Outliers, makes this exact point about the Beatles and what made them so great. He says that it’s not just raw talent that made them great. Instead, it was their two-year experience, playing at the “Top Ten Club” in Hamburg, Germany, for eight hours a day, seven days a week. They played and played and played together, all the while creating a harmony of thought, mind, and performance. By the time they returned to England, they were a completely different group. They had learned to sacrifice their egos for the music, which is saying a lot since they all had big egos, especially John and Paul. It was their willing to sacrifice self for the group that made the difference. What other group had that much time together to craft their music?
You can find the same kind of self-sacrifice in the life of a woman named Margaret. If you travel to the business district of New Orleans, you can find a statue of Margaret that was erected in 1888. It’s an odd statue, not like most statues you find in a city. Most statues in a city are of military, political, or financial men posed dramatically, showing their great deeds. This statue of Margaret is different. It has Margaret, an older, heavy-set woman in a crocheted sweater, hair in a bun, sitting on a chair with her arm around a small child standing next to her. The inscription on the base simply says, “Margaret.”
The statue is of Margaret Haughery, a woman who died in New Orleans in 1882. By the time she died, she had made a huge impact on the city. No one would have expected her to be remembered in marble when she was born in Ireland in 1814. At age six she migrated to America with her parents, settling in Maryland. Two years later, both parents died of influenza, leaving her an orphan. After a time in an orphanage, a Welsh couple adopted her. At age twenty-one she married and moved to New Orleans with her new husband. About a year or two later, both her husband and her infant child died of illness, leaving Margaret in poverty.
Eventually, she got a job washing and ironing clothes in a Catholic orphanage. It was there that she sensed her calling. One day she went to the head nun and committed her life to helping the orphanage financially. Saving as much as she could, she donated much of her salary back to the orphanage. With what she had saved she managed to purchase two cows and a small, wooden pushcart. She would rise very early in the morning and deliver milk to wealthy people and restaurants, often begging for leftover food so that she could give that to the orphans.
As her side business grew, she purchased more cows and hired people to deliver the milk. Out of her revenues she kept little for herself. She saved much of it, and gave much of the rest to the orphanage. As her business increased, she eventually sold it, and with the proceeds, both donated huge sums to the orphanage, helping them get completely out of debt. Then she bought a bakery. As the bakery business took off, she gave more money not only to the Catholic orphanage she had worked in years before, but also to Protestant and Jewish orphanages.
When she died in 1882, she left $30,000 to be shared with orphanages all over the city. By my best guess, that would be over $1 million in today’s dollars. All from a woman who could barely read or write, but who was willing to sacrifice herself for the benefit of others.
One of the keys to living a mature faith is that we have to be willing to sacrifice our interests for the good of others. That’s one of the reasons I really like one of the prominent phrases used by our fundraising consultants, RSI. They often say that we should give “not equal gifts, but equal sacrifices.” They understand that sacrifice opens life to the sacred. There are lots of ways we are called as Christians to sacrifice.
- We are called to give time, money, and compassion to others.
- How we vote is a sacrifice. When you vote, do you only vote your own interests, or do you vote the interests of others?
- Are you only concerned with your rights, or are you concerned with the rights of others?
- What causes beyond yourself are you committed to? To the church? To charity? To causes?
We are given a simple, but profound message in our passage for today: “We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.” How are you laying your life down for others? And how is that leading you to live in God’s love?
Amen.
