Angels of Faith: Acceptance and Love
Matthew 1:18-25
December 7, 2008
Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: "Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel," which means, "God is with us." When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.
Twenty years ago I read a story that had a huge impact on me spiritually. It was a story that taught me the lesson of Joseph in a way I had never considered before. It taught me that sometimes the right way is the way of acceptance, even when everything screams that we should change everything.
The story takes place many years ago in a small village. There was a young teen who became pregnant, yet she wasn’t married. Her father was outraged. How could his daughter dishonor him so? How could she have done this to her family? He and her uncles confronted her one evening, saying, “Who did this to you? Who has brought this shame on our family? Tell us so that we can punish him!”
The young girl didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to reveal that it was the neighbor boy because she knew how he would be treated. So she said to them, “The father is the old hermit who lives on the other side of the village.” The man she implicated was considered to be a great spiritual guide and sage. Many had gone to him for guidance because they knew that he was a deeply prayerful and spiritual man. She thought that they would do nothing about it out of respect for the man. They did not react as she hoped. They were stunned, but then became outraged: “How could this man have betrayed us so? We trusted him! He must be held accountable!” With that they rushed en masse across the village, where they found him sitting in his cottage, praying.
Rousting him from his prayer, they yelled at him, telling him that he had dishonored them and the village. They told him that he must care for the child and make amends. The hermit looked at them, and with a sad face simply said, “Very well. Very well.”
The hermit found a woman in the village who would care for the child and his mother. He ensured that they had food and a healthy place to live. He made sure that the child would grow in a safe and loving environment.
A year passed, and with each passing day the young girl felt guiltier and guiltier. Finally, she told her family that the hermit really wasn’t the father, but that the neighbor boy, whom she loved, was the father. The family was shocked, and embarrassed. They felt guilty. How could they have treated that great spiritual sage in such a dishonorable way? How could they not have believed in him? So they rushed over to his cottage. They found him again in prayer. They apologized to him, asked if he could ever forgive them, told him that they would care for the girl’s young child. The hermit gave a small smile and simply said, “Very well. Very well.”
Why did I find this story so compelling? It’s an odd story—one that goes so much against our natural understanding of right and wrong. How could the hermit have been so accepting? If it were we in his situation, we would stand up for our rights. We would have proclaimed our innocence and have forced them to take a paternity test. We would have been outraged at their accusations. But the hermit, he accepted it. He accepted that perhaps God was calling him to provide care for a young child who otherwise might be abandoned or ostracized. He accepted that God wanted to protect the young girl. He accepted that there was a plan in all this. Is this how we react to difficult situations?
The truth is that we are a people who stand up for justice. And the hermit didn’t stand up for justice—he prayed. How unrealistic is that? Is that your normal response to trouble: prayer? Is that your normal response to anything, good or bad? What the story taught me was that there was another way of life that begins not with a need for justice, but with a desire for centeredness. Justice is important, and I certainly don’t want to diminish its importance, but it seems to me that as Christians everything else has to start with centeredness. Are we centered? Being centered is a way of life that accepts how life is, but at its core trusts even more in whatever God is doing. It’s a way of life that asks a fundamental question: Do I really trust that God is in the world, making everything okay?
When I look at our culture, it seems to me that most Americans have an attitude that one of our members expressed very well to me. He once told me that before joining Calvin Church his personal motto was, “If it is to be, it is up to me.” I believe that this is the unofficial motto for so many people. So many of us believe that we have to make a name or a way for ourselves. I don’t want to diminish the importance of that idea, but when we become consumed by it we can end up losing sight of what really matters. Joseph, in our passage, reflects another, deeper way of life. His motto very easily could have been, “It will be okay, if I trust in God’s way.”
Trusting in God’s way means relinquishing ultimate control of life and trusting in God. It means having hope for the future, even when there are no tangible signs that the future will work out. It means keeping an eternal perspective in mind always, even as we live an earthly life.
Unfortunately, when I say things like this, many people hear me saying something different. They hear me saying that we should do nothing and leave it all up to God. They hear me saying that we should just relax, eat bonbons, and let God take care of everything. That’s not what I am saying. What I am saying is what’s reflected in the Serenity Prayer. This is a prayer that I’m sure you know. It is the central prayer of the twelve-step movement, for so many who suffer from addictions. The prayer goes,
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
There’s a balance to be kept in life. It’s a balance of wisdom. It’s the balance between accepting what we cannot change, and the courage to change the things we can. Too many of us try to change what we have no power to change. Others of us are fearful, keeping quiet when bad things happen, hoping to avoid hurt and pain.
All of this brings me back to the example of Joseph, for he was the balance between acceptance and courage. Joseph accepted God’s will. When the angel appeared to him in a dream, he very easily could have disbelieved. How many of us have had dreams that we’ve dismissed? Yet he didn’t, which was amazing. Think about him. He finds out that his bride-to-be is pregnant, and not by him. He would have felt dishonored by Mary. Normally, he would have broken the marriage contract and dismissed her and the baby. He would not have been able to live with the shame of her pregnancy by another man. Yet he listened to his dream, accepting God’s way.
I’m inviting you to take time during this Advent season to ask how you are living. Are you accepting? Are you able to accept what God is doing in your life and in life in general? How do you live your life?
Amen.
